Married to the Mob – Review

Gangster ‘Cucumber’ Frank de Marco (Baldwin) waits for the incoming train with cohort Tommy (Lazar). They board and sit behind their target, and when they hit a dark tunnel, a silenced pistol takes the man out. They slip off at the next stop, job completed.

Meanwhile, Frank’s super hottie wife Angela (Pfeiffer) gets her 80s hair done while Rose (Cusack) and the girls gossip about her. Connie Russo (Ruehl), the head boss Tony ‘The Tiger’ Russo’s (Stockwell) wife, enters and invites Angela to the card game that night, which she declines. Such is the life of mobsters and their wives.

Angela is tiring of the criminal life, despite the swell house and beautiful furnishings. She is sick of blood money and even wants a divorce! Frank laughs it off and leaves to meet Tony at King’s Roost, a medieval restaurant hangout. Too bad FBI agents Mike Downey (Modine) and Ed Benitez (Platt) are scoping out the place. They watch Vinnie ‘The Slug,’ Nick ‘The Snake,’ and Al ‘The Worm’ enter, followed by our pal Cucumber and eventually The Tiger.

So, what happens when Angela winds up in the midst of both the mobster antics she hates so much as well as the FBI’s crosshairs, despite being sick of all of it? As murders and misunderstandings begin to drive the plot along, new twists are added to this comedy crime caper.

The acting is a mix of serious and silly, but that goes along with the farcical presentation of mobsters and their families. It never dips fully into spoof territory despite some of its antics, and it is aptly directed with its great cast hitting a bunch of solid notes throughout. It is a fairly light trip through criminal elements and has some fun to go with it. The story is good enough and thankfully the film does not overstay its welcome with its short enough runtime.

The biggest surprise of the film is two continental cheeseburgers, two fries, two chocolate shakes and two onion rings add up to $8.20 at the local fast-food joint.