Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze – Review

Less than a year later, and a sequel hit the big screen again, albeit with new actors for April (Turco) and Shredder (Chau) and no Casey Jones. I guess they saw the script and were like ‘Ohhhh no.’ I know this film has fans, but for me it is not that watchable. Wanting to capitalize on the popularity of the first movie, this turtle turd was pushed out to market fast.

We are back in the streets of New York. Cabbies drive, civilians walk, cops do jack shit, and everyone, like everyone, is eating pizza. Dweeb delivery boy Keno (Reyes Jr.) takes April O’Neil’s order, but when he gets close, he stumbles into tons of baddies robbing a shop. Good thing he knows martial arts and starts whipping butt. Then a ton more dudes show up. Uh oh.

As the turtles fly in to save the day, the usual banter begins. Eclectic!! Ninja cowboy!! The action is silly, and the lines are worse. Combat cold cuts set the tone as sausage link nunchucks K.O. thugs. Keno is shocked by the turtles, but happy for the save.

April O’Neil is back in the action news biz. She is getting used to life with her maxamundo turtle friends, and their leftover pizza boxes. At least they have branched out past Domino’s. But the real question is… will a plot show up?! Splinter hits them with more lessons. The trash-compacted Shredder finally makes things interesting by finding his way outta a pile of garbage. Took long enough.

So, the Foot Clan, Shredder, and evildoers alike are back in action. Their plan is pretty much the same as it ever was, with a hot slice of revenge mixed in, extra cheese. The only twist here is professor Jordon Perry (Warner) and his chemical waste, like totally non-toxic stuff, and his ecological disposal methods.

The script of this film doesn’t really cut it for me. The story doesn’t bring much to the table and the ample jokes fall flat. While it is competently put together otherwise, the only thing semi-cool is Shredder who tries to up his game a notch. Don’t see this if you are looking for strong storytelling or serious acting, but if you are into big dandelions and weird as fuck creature mutations then def check it out.

This movie gets a full minus point or so due to Vanilla Ice.