Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III – Review

Another sequel to the Turtles franchise hit a couple years after part II. This one is more unconventional than the last, and includes some odd choices. Opening in feudal Japan, a man races on horseback through the countryside, pursued by armored guards. This is Prince Kenshin (Hanzei). When he reaches the forest, battle commences, and all is watched by a mysterious archer woman (Wu) in the upper tree branches.

Meanwhile, back in the “current time,” the ninja turtles perform a dance routine in their subway station lair. They just can’t stop rockin’. Splinter is like WTF dudes. After weapon and foot-fu, Raphael feels underappreciated. April (Turco) then brings stuff. Donatello goes spelunking for pork rinds in her haul.

April has flea market finds, and brings in a plot device. Said device is an ancient antique Japanese lantern egg time type thang. Naturally, this allows for time travel and deposits our heroes back in time as Norinaga castle drama is in full force. Lord Norinaga (Shimono) is disgraced by his son who was forbidden to leave the castle, but a gunshot from Walker (Wilson) stops the prince from potentially losing his head. Kenshin is grounded again, and goes off in a huff, unhappy about his father’s warlord ambitions.

Where do the turtles fit into all of this action, you don’t ask? After some undefined scepter time travel space time continuum rules about equal mass displacement and a 60-hour time limit, as well as a few history lessons, the turtles join the battle of samurai lords and gun-toting English traders. Oh, and Casey Jones (Koteas) is back, so they must have offered him more money than part II.

As bizarre as this film’s plot is, I actually find it more tolerable than part II. It definitely won’t win any awards, but for what it is, there is some entertainment value to be had. There are a fewwwwwww less annoying lines and bits than the second chapter, and no Vanilla Ice is a step in the right direction. As April and the turtles wind up in ancient times, the sword and shell fights are fun enough despite some goofy bits and so-so overall plot. If you can handle extra cheese with your films, this one will fit right in with the others in the series.

Reviewers and plenty of fans do not like this movie much, so set expectation levels to minimal, however I myself don’t hate it.