My Bloody Valentine (2009) – Review

The film opens with headlines of the past and voiceovers talking about a mine shaft collapse in a small town named Harmony, with a miracle survivor named Harry Warden. However… evidence begins suggesting that the cave-in didn’t actually kill the miners, and that instead it was a pickaxe.

Harry remains in a coma after his rescue from the ordeal, but awakes one night to wreak additional havoc. After murdering the hospital on Valentine’s Day, and continuing to wreak chaos and pickaxe eyeball removals while slaying another slew of people. It is quite the bummer for the town.

This remake of the 80s flick of the same name shares some principles and plot points, but is a quite different presentation overall. While it modernizes many elements compared to the original, it unfortunately brings its own issues to bog it down a bit also.

It features a slick presentation, the original’s ominous masked killer look, gnarly death scenes, as well as trotting along with an okay mystery slasher plot. The problems arise with some character choices, as well as when most characters speak, as the sluggish dialogue does no one any favors. Some of the familiar horror beats can also come off as cheesy here in different ways than the 80s original.

Ultimately mostly this movie is okay as a horror update and attempt to re-present the original with some different story beats. The end results are indeed a shift from the original, and the cast helps the movie how it can with some good people showing up despite lackluster lines and thin characters.

This was released in the double storm of “horror classic remake” phase of the 2000s as well as the post-Avatar 3-D hype craze, so it goes overboard with that effect.